Let Them Choose

Let them Choose!

Yes, let them choose! Not always, not when you need to decide between two job offers that you got, but let them choose! Children love when they are asked to make choices. They feel they are noticed. They feel they are worthy. They feel that their words and opinions count. They feel important and responsible.

When you offer them choices, make sure you are ok with both options. For the younger ages I recommend giving 2  choices only and ask them to pick. For example, “Do you want to play with the dolls or build a puzzle?” “Do you want to wear the blue shirt or the yellow one?" Children that get the chance to choose by themselves are more likely to cooperate and stick with the activity.

Needless to say, that in matters of safety, we don’t let them choose. We HAVE TO put on the seat belt. We CAN’T run to the street.

We need to teach them to make wise choices now while they are young. That will help them to develop strategic thinking  that will serve them throughout their lives.

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Children See Children Do

Albert Bandura in his “Bobo doll” studies (1961) found that children who witnessed adults behave in a certain way towards a doll, behaved in the same manner when they were asked to play with the doll. Children who saw the adults play peacefully with the doll played peacefully with it, and children who witnessed the adults play aggressively with the doll played aggressively too. For further reading, click here for the full article.

Many times, we tell our children what to do, how to behave and what to say but we forget that kids learn best from what they see us DO and not from what we TELL them to do.

“Your children will become who you are; so be who you want them to be” – anonymous

 

 

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Parental Vision

When we meet "the one" who will be our significant other, we talk about the foods we love, the best book we ever read and our favorite music. We even talk about the location of our dream house – in the middle of Manhattan or in a nice quite suburb (well, maybe not on the very first date but somewhere along the way…) but most of us don’t sit and plan what kind of parents we will be. What are the values that we would want to raise our kids on? What is our “I believe” in terms of education? And in most cases, when we face a dilemma in our children’s lives we find out that we are not on the same page and then it's harder to deal with the issue. When we are not united in front of the kids they SEE and FEEL everything and ACT accordingly…

That is why it is so important to sit, talk and together to find your parental vision. And this vision is not important only for the future of our kids. It will affect the everyday decisions. It will make them easier. In our sessions, we will talk about this vision, how to create it and how to live by it.

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